How to Say F^<k You Politely

There is a certain class of responses by Governments to criticism which allow them to be extremely rude to one another without appearing to insult each other.

You can spot the sort of thing I mean by these hypothetical examples.

So Government A is committing genocide and reintroducing slavery upon an ethnic group. Government B wants to condemn this but is reliant on trade with said perpetrators.

Government A can say f^<k you by saying that everything is fine, it’s just creating an education programme for its disadvantaged peoples. How does Government B respond and not be subject to damaging economic retaliation? My suggestion is this.

“We welcome Government A’s farsighted programme of re-education and as a gesture of goodwill we have decided to offer every citizen of that country a free education in our country; paid for by an import duty on mobile phones made in that country.”

Government C is destroying important resources that the world needs for its future health but is saying f^<k you by denying it is doing anything other than bringing their people’s living standards up to the level earlier industrialised countries enjoyed. That is surely only fair.

Other countries can say f^<k you by agreeing that this is indeed only fair and therefore have decided to help Government C by ensuring, through trade barriers to Government C’s products, that they can only develop their economy in just the same sort of way that Britain did: by creating an empire. Except, there is nowhere left to exploit.

Government D has a decrepit economy but a lot of weapons and wishes to relive the glory days of its own empire by trying to retrieve its previous possessions. It says f^<k you by allowing it’s young bright hackers to cause chaos across the internet whilst pretending it’s nothing to do with their policies.

Other countries can say f^<k you in turn by deciding to undertake essential maintenance to key servers. And everyone knows what can happen when that is done by their own IT department!

The administrators of an economic and political block of Countries incompetently handle the purchasing of essential medicines but say f^<k you to it’s critics by saying that they have stopped other countries receiving their supplies only due to contractural requirements.

This doesn’t work as other countries say f^<k you by happily continuing to produce their own medicines. Therefore plan B is introduced. The embarrassed block publish reports that the other medicines are dangerous.

This doesn’t work either as other equally or better effective medicines can be produced at the drop of a hat. A f^<k you by being simply good at what you do.

The Art of F^<k You is never having to insult anyone with words, just by actions.

Interested in everything, but so little time ...